Stalin’s Love Child Alive in Hirwaun

For many years there has been some speculation as to whether Stalin produced a progeny or not. Many theories have abounded, seemingly centred on his prodigious face muff. Amoungst them it has been proposed that such a handle-bar propensity denoted a dislike of even the finest caviar. Indeed, this coupled with records recently released from the Soviet Archives which have provided the guest lists for amyl fuelled High-NRG Balalika nights at Stalins personal Dacha would hint at this being the case. However others have argued that his massive soup filter was grown to conceal his permenant joker-esque gurn thus presenting a visage befitting the Man of Steel and detracting attention from the fact that he was actually bonkers.

The debate now seems concluded as it has come to light that the Son of Stalin is alive and well and living in Hirwaun under the guise of Clive Griffiths, an identity prescribed by leading KGB officials inorder to protect the seed of the Great One from the attention of Trotskyist elements bent of revenge.

It seems that for many years Clive had assumed the role of a Local Labour Party officiate in an attempt to further and promote his Deep Cover, although it is understood that Militant Trotskyist Commandos had caught a whiff of this deciet and, for a period during the early eighties, through joining the Labour Party, came near to unearthing their quarry. It can only be assumed that Polit Bureau plants on the Labour Party Executive Commitee took extreme measures to ensure the safety and continued covert identity of their charge whilst bringing to fruition Stalin’s final 55 year plan.

Now Clive Griffiths, holding aloft his CPGB Party Card, has shrugged off the thin veneer of Labour Party membership and in an unprecidented coup d’etat, taken control of Hirwaun and Penderyn Community Council in readiness for the great putsch that will install him as leader of the magnanimous Marxist Dictatorship of Rhondda and Cynon Taff.

Nearby residents of Croesbychan have already expressed concerns that the collectivisation of chip shops could result in mass starvation in the Aberdare and Cwmbach areas whilst it has been rumoured that the Welsh Assembly have called for troops to be marshalled in Cardiff Central Station in readiness for immediate dispatch to the Castle Hotel in Merthyr Tydfil.

We can only wait to see what will develop in the coming hours whilst the respective populations of Rhigos and Maerdy road holds it’s breath

The scene inside Hirwaun and Penderyn Community Council yesterday.


4 Responses to “Stalin’s Love Child Alive in Hirwaun”

  1. Clive Griffiths Says:

    Listen boy bach i don’t know where you’re getting your funny bloody ideas from. No matter how much i might revere the great Koba it’s just not possible for me to be the fruit of his magnificent loins. For starters right i’m 48, Stalin died 55 bloody years ago. Secondly my Mam and Dad are still alive and enjoying their well earned retirement in Porthcawl and they’ve got photos! So i’m asking you nicely now to stop all this bloody nonsense or i’ll have a word with some of the boys down at Clwb Cheka Mawr

  2. oi oi mate, what’s up? Have emailed you … xx

  3. Somewhat better now i just descended into a nacisistic spiral of gloom, anyway musn’t grumble, x

  4. OK 🙂
    have emailed u back … xx

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