Archive for Reigate

Stalin’s Love Child, the debate ensues. Pt.1

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2008 by anacarlo

It appears that, from a recent response, that Clive Griffiths refutes that he is the primiparious result of a neferous KGB plot.

The Scene Outside Hirwaun Community Council Yesterday

The scene outside Hirwaun Community Council earlier this week

As Clive quite rightly points out he is 48 years old, where as whiskered tyrant passed on a good 55 years ago. Well let us examine the facts.

We know that during his lifetime the Georgian Borgia developed a keen interest in incarcerating scientists and engineers in some of the colder extremeties of the Great Union, for what purpose did he banish his best boffins and engineers to the artic tundra we may ask? And for what reason was Hitler, in the face of such seeming adversity, bent on driving maniacly eastward into the jaws of the Russian winter?

The answer, so it seems, lies in a combination of factors. Firstly let us regard the Tunguska Event of 1908 an occurance that still generates debate amoungst many esteemed research groups in adherance to the strictest codes of practice. We know from this research that what occured at Tunguska was not simply a collision with the Earth by a comet or asteroid but was undoubtedly the crash landing of an alien craft in the Siberian wilderness. As we know these Aliens are involved in all manner of advanced DNA experimentation in an attempt to save their doomed race and were probably, at the time of the crash, conducting a harvest of raindeer sperm in an attempt to foster a raindeer/grey hybrid.

A number of small expeditions were dispatched to the site imediately after the ‘crash’ but it is thought that nothing of note was retreived until Leonid Kulik conducted indepth surveys and excavations in 1927, returning to his master in the Kremlin with what is belived to be an Alien Cryogenic Spermatazoa Storage Device.

It is with this in hand that after 1930, Stalin began to develop a huge network of research facilities in the chilly N.Eastern realms of the USSR under the code name ‘Purge’, with the sole mission of creating a clone army from his own nocturnal emissions.

Even the strictest OGPU directives could not prevent the hushed excitment that was bubbling through the corridors of the Kremlin from seeping out, as it were. And so it was inevitable that word, through clandestine channels, would filter back to the infamous odd ball, Mr A. Hitler (formerly of Reigate, Surrey) who, spurred by his own testicular discrepency, had commisioned research into the same field, code named ‘Operation Albert Hall.’

Initially the Reich attempted to garner relations with the Soviets through the infamous Nazi/Soviet Pact but their confidencies were betrayed. It appears that under the guise of a treaty of non-aggression the Soviets were to exchange blueprints for their advanced Husbandry Equipment for free reign across large swathes of Eastern Europe. As it turns out Joachim von Ribbentrop had signed an agreement with Vayechevslav Molotov in exchange for nothing more than the blueprints for a prototype electric toaster. As can be imagined Herr Hitler was somewhat displeased and as a consequence, launched Operation Barbarossa.

The rest, as they say, is history.

Or it was up until now and the events unfolding in the South Wales Valleys.